There has been so much going on in my life lately...frustration, exhaustion, worry, anger- none of it good, and definitely not of the Lord. I've been tired...and tired of everything. I needed to be home. I knew that nothing else would help...I had to get home. So, on Friday afternoon I took off from school and drove home! This weekend has been like one continuous "spa getaway" from God. He has rejuvenated and refreshed me in so many ways...
Friday night was the GA sleepover which was a blast! I had a ton of fun with the girls and loved getting to share with them how being in GAs when I was little led me to be involved in missions now! I loved having that time with the girls.
Saturday was pretty rough. We suffered a loss in one of my sibling-in-love's families, so it was not an easy day. I spent most of the day with my parents, running around doing necessary errands...but it was time with them, which I desperately needed. (Talks on the phone only do so much...sometimes I just need to be able to see and touch them) Then we ended up at my sister's house for dinner, where I got to snuggle with the baby and giggle with my lovely big sister about pedicure and haircut dates, and about how we almost have matching jackets...love her! By the end of the night I had all three of the bigger boys cuddled up with me on the couch, covered up with the coveted pink blanket, watching High School Musical 3. I was in heaven. Riding in the car on the way home, I smelled something peculiar. It was an interesting combination of baby scent and sweaty little boy. I put my head down and sniffed my hoodie....mmhmm....it was me :) I'm not sure if it stunk or actually smelled as good as I thought it did, but I had a hard time releasing it to the laundry pile.
This morning I woke up to get ready for church and seriously could not have taken any longer. For some reason, I moved at the absolute slowest pace possible. By the time I was finally ready, I knew I'd be fifteen minutes late to Sunday School...at least. I hate walking in late...so I just decided to wait and just go for church. Of course, that left me with an hour of nothing to do....until I realized....it was quiet. Not just quiet. It was silent. In a suite full of college girls, in a building full of college girls....it is never silent. At 4 am, it's not even silent.
I recalled the words of Melissa Fitzpatrick, "There is no other book like it. When you sit on your couch with your Bible in your lap, you are a witness to a miracle. This miracle is called Divine Revelation." (you can read that blog post here) So that's just what I did. I grabbed my Bible, cherished the silence, and savored every syllable of His divine Word. God speaks in a variety of ways. Sometimes He uses other people. Sometimes His voice is in a song or a situation....and sometimes, like this morning, He speaks in the stillness. In the secret, sacred, intimate quiet of complete silence.
I've needed rest, and He gave me rest. I've needed to feel the love of people that I love, and He let me snuggle with them and a pink blanket all weekend. But most importantly, He quieted my heart and showed me how to rest in His love... and there's nothing on earth like it....not even a treasured pink blanket...
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." Leviticus 3:22-26
"The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever." Isaiah 32:17