Showing posts with label follow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label follow. Show all posts

Saturday, March 17, 2012

interpreting is a tricky business

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As an English and Writing major at a liberal arts university, poetry was a major requirement in my course list.

Joy.

I was so the opposite of excited.

The only professor who taught poetry was one of those who asks you to interpret a poem's meaning and then stares at you until you say the right thing.

Again, joy.

I was horrified.
The first poem I wrote for his beginner's workshop was a mix of Dr. Seuss and Mother Goose.
He was nicer than he should have been, but ultimately, it wasn't good enough.

From freshman year to senior year--after lots of criticism and rewrites--I got a little better. My poetry in year four danced circles around my poetry from year one. Thankfully.

I didn't squirm so much when asked to interpret poetry.
Although I'll always squirm a little.

But one of the first lessons that professor taught us was this:

Interpretation is not subjective.

Texts mean what they were written to mean. You can't twist them to mean whatever you want. His main example? "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,        10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.        15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.        20

Read at more graduations than anyone cares to count, this poem tends to be used as an example of taking the high road. The narrow road. The difficult road. The road less traveled by. 

But that's just not what it means. 

The last lines of that poem are really out of place. Added almost more out of self-justification than real reason. 

Throughout the text, you see phrases like "just as fair," "worn [...] really about the same," "equally lay." 

The roads both look just as good.
The roads are equally traveled. 
There's not a clearly better road. 

He just has to choose. 

I don't think that, as followers of Christ, we have that luxury. I don't think the Lord really cares whether I choose ketchup or mustard for my burger, but when it comes to the road I choose to walk, I believe that choice is of great significance to my Father. 

Even when both of the roads are good.
Even when both of the roads involve serving and following Him. 

It's hard to choose between those roads.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

Have you ever had to pray and process through that kind of decision? 
How did you seek the Lord for direction? 


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

dangit.

a few hours ago I was all ready for bed.

I'd brushed my teeth, picked out clothes for Wednesday, washed my face. **first hint** If I have energy to do all THAT...there's no way I'm going to sleep. I usually make it through brushing my tee--and I'm a goner. So I got in bed, closed me eyes....nothing. Squeezed them shut....nada. Tried putting myself to sleep by practicing my poem memorization (surely that'll work)....nope.

Dangit.

So I moved to the living room, pulled out my laptop and wonder upon wonders.....checked facebook. A sweet friend was on so we chatted for a few minutes and her heart is completely broken right now. She's hurt and hurting for other people. She knows God's near but can't feel Him right now....I so know how that feels and I'm too far away to lay on the floor with her and cry it all out.

Dangit.

There's a song that I have been loving lately. Well....honestly, I don't even know that I love it, it's just had my attention. Every time my iPod's on I play it at least 3 times. So yes. I love it like I loved those wax candy lips at Halloween when I was little. Trust me...that's sayin' somethin'. Here's the lyrics. If you haven't heard it, you should look it up. It's good people...in song form.

"You Can Have Me"
by Sidewalk Prophets

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams
Would I love You enough to let go?
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life?

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering
I will love You enough to let go
Lord, I give you my life
I give you my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
My Father, my love
You can have me
....
Dangit.

When did I get to be so unmoved by all of who I know God to be? When did I stop thinking He was worth everything I have? Everything I am?

I've been so convicted lately by the story of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19.

(ESV) And behold, a man came up to him, saying, "Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life? And he said to him, "Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments." He said to him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." The young man said to him, "All these I have kept. What do I still lack?" Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

(The Message) Another day, a man stopped Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"Jesus said, "Why do you question me about what's good? God is the One who is good. If you want to enter the life of God, just do what he tells you."The man asked, "What in particular?" Jesus said, "Don't murder, don't commit adultery, don't steal, don't lie, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as you do yourself."The young man said, "I've done all that. What's left?""If you want to give it all you've got," Jesus replied, "go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me."That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crest-fallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn't bear to let go.

I love that translation: "If you want to give it all you've got..."--But then the young man walked away, his actions screaming, "I don't want to give it all I've got...I'd rather keep my stuff. My position. My "supposed" security. I don't want to be like that young ruler. I don't want to come to Jesus, asking what He wants from me, then walk away because in my mind, my stuff's worth more than Him. I don't want to do that...but I do it. I do it all the time. I want to give this thing all I've got--but I just don't. I repeatedly walk away. My prayer that I say may be "you can have me"...but my heart is saying "Lord, you can have me as long as it fits into my plan and doesn't require me to be too uncomfortable or give up too much or really need to trust You at all."

Dangit.

I want that attitude of my heart to change. I want my prayer to change--the real prayer. I've written it down. Every day for the past few weeks. "Lord, you can have me. I want Your plan. I'm going with You. I want to trust You. I'll go where You go. You can have me."

You can have me.

It's a hard thing to pray...and some days I don't mean it. And He knows that. But He knows I want to...and I'm trusting He'll honor that. It's scary. I have a plan for myself all mapped out, and I'm handing that over.....opening myself up to whatever the heck He wants. I had the perfect idea for how to get a secure, financially stable, good job. I have stuff that I love and lots of stuff that I want. I know what I want my apartment to look like. I know what I want my kids names to be. I know what I want my husband to be like. I know where I want to be a year from now...ten years from now.

Thing is...if I say "You can have me," then He gets all of that, too.

But dangit, if anyone should get it, it's God.

So it's His.

All of it.

On the days I mean it and the days I don't.
When it makes sense to people and when they think I'm crazy.
When it makes sense to me and when I think I'm crazy.
Whether I love it or I hate it.
Both when I can see it's for my good and when I think He must be out to get me.

It's His.

God, You're good. You're You...and dangit, that's reason enough to say:

You can have me.