Why in the world are there 68 different kinds of Band-Aids to choose from? I want one that sticks. Is it too much to ask for the Band-Aid fairies to narrow it down for me? I mean, come on, a girl's got enough decisions to make without wondering which brand has better adhesive. Plastic or fabric? Medicated or not medicated?
Just tell me which one works the best. That's the one I want.
Imagine you walk into (insert your store of choice here, personally I'm saying Target), and make your way down the aisle, channeling all of your will power to walk past the makeup and school supply sections without stopping. You turn down the First Aid aisle, prepared to spend the next 30 minutes picking the box of perfect Band-Aids, when to your delight and surprise, every box bears a label that tells you exactly how they, as a bandage, perform. "I fall off after ten minutes." "I can't handle getting wet." "I have attachment issues. I'm going to leave that nasty, gummy residue on you for weeks." "I'll give you an allergic reaction." And so on. You read all of the labels until you set your eyes on a single box on the top shelf. You catch your breath. Music plays. A follow-spot shines down out of nowhere. The label reads:
"I'm perfect. Pick me. I am the Band-Aid of your dreams. I'll stick on as long as you need me to, but I come off easily. I'll help heal you quickly. I am the perfect Band-Aid."
Too bad every single box of Band-Aids promises the same thing. Just pick a box. They'll all pretty much get the job done.
It's easy to make choices when one of the options is blatantly wrong, but when either one would work out fine...how do you decide? What are you supposed to do when both options are good?
Feel free to help a sister out. Really, please do.