Thursday, September 10, 2009

one million readers, a small group success, and a God that just won't leave me alone

On the epic best friend weekend (pictures soon to come!), I saw Julie & Julia. Let me just say, I have never been more inspired to be the author of the. best. blog. ever. Not even the best blog actually. Just a blog that a large number of people read. Imagine waking up to 50+ comments every morning. Um.......yes please!
But since we (and by we I mean myself and the five or so people that read this) know that that is simply not going to happen, I'm just going to pretend that I have one million readers that are dedicated enough to read my blog, but are just too busy to actually comment.

But hey, if you someday feel the urge to leave me fifty comments just to boost my self-confidence, I'm not going to stop you ;)

We had a small.GROUPS kick-off tonight for the three girls' small groups at HBU. I've been so scared that no one would want to come to my group, I was actually making myself sick. Seriously...I've been paranoid all week that I was going to be studying Crazy Love, by Francis Chan all alone for the semester. Not that that would be bad, I would still love to do it, but since I've already been feeling pretty lonely, I was really hoping for some sisters to grow with.

I had seven.....7.....SEVEN! sign up tonight! I'm so excited! Plus there are girls that weren't able to come tonight that are going to come once we get started going through the book next week! Praise the Lord. P...T...L.!

I can't wait to get the small group started and begin pouring over the Word and into these girls this semester!

I've been feeling miserable alone, out of place, and unwanted lately; and last Wednesday, this is what came in the mail:

Dear Hannah,
I am praying for you to have a great semester. Do not fret (Psalm 37) over the circumstances with your friends. They will come back around.
Keep your eyes open for someone who needs a friend. You probably are yet to meet your life's "best friend."
See you soon!
Love, Dad

I was desperate for a word. I needed a hug. I needed a friend. I needed to know that my Father hadn't left me all alone. And since my Heavenly Father knows my heart better than anyone, he sent me a message through my Daddy, the man that knows me better than anyone on earth. I sat there and cried. I'm sitting and crying now. My God knew what I needed. My God knows what I need.

and of course....since He is God, after all, He didnt' stop there....

I got another letter, on the same night. It was from me. During Daycation training at the beginning of the summer, all of the counselors had to write out a prayer, asking God to do His work in us and through us in the summer. Obviously, we all got our letter back in the mail at the end of the summer. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think mine just happened to get here last Wednesday. Near the end of the prayer, I read this:

Father, I pray that you would mesh Patcrick and I together as a team, Lord. Help us learn how to draw from each other and support each other. Help me respect and support him, encouraging and building him up as my brother-in-Christ and a warrior for You.

Funny, huh? how God chose that particular day to remind me that the guy that absolutely horrified me in May, is one of my good friends in September. My God knew what I needed. My God knows what I need.

and then.....there's more.....

I was sitting in my room, catching up on The Secret Life of the American Teenager :), when there was a knock on my door. It was one of the first year RAs and she said:

So......I have a question...It's an important question, but I don't know how to.....um.....well.....I don't know what to...nevermind. No, see.....I don't have a mentor, and I don't know if you would do that, but I wanted to ask if you would do that.....so.....would you do that?

um......YES? All of this on one of the worst days I've had. My God knew what I needed. My God knows what I need.

Man, He's good.

I sat there on my bed, with Amy and Ben fighting about something stupid on the tv in the background, and had Bible Study right there all by myself.

I guess I wasn't alone, huh, God?

It's like He smacked me (and not nicely, or gently....I mean He lovingly smacked me), and said, "Um.....you think?"

Oh...sorry.

And while I knew I was being spiritually corrected for wallowing in my own self-pity for feeling so neglected, I was being deeply reminded that my God just doesn't quit. He doesn't back off when I feel like throwing a fit. He will not leave me alone. He's going to send me person after person, letter after letter until I flat out can't ignore Him anymore.

And with that....another note slid under my door.

28 comments:

Brittany Burchfield said...

Praise the Lord for a great turn out with your small group!
I am so thankful for you Hannah, and cant wait to see how the Lord uses you this semester. You are awesome!

Uncanny Colleen said...

You precious girl. I want to hug you right now.

Two things:
1 - At Bible study the other night, we studied on 7 being the number of completion and perfection...and that where it is mentioned in Revelation, that is exactly what it is meaning...perfect and complete. Love on that perfect and complete set of girls for this semester.

2 - I can only encourage you with this...my time at our last church was the most lonely, agonizing 4 years of my otherwise upbeat and delightful life. I was not alone, I was surrounded by people that I felt like I never fit with, with people that wanted me to be something that I wasn't (really, just to make them more comfortable with themselves). For quite some time, I tried desperately to find a way to get our family out of there. Then, I came to a turning point in my heart when I read Deuteronomy 2:7 regarding the Isrealites in the wilderness. (Okay, so if I was independently studying the 'wilderness', you can totally tell where my heart was...I'm just sayin').

Deuteronomy 2:7 NKJV For the LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hand. He knows your trudging through this great wilderness. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing.

It was the "Trudging through this great wilderness" that caught my eye...but God's blessing and presence that caught my heart.

You are right, He knows what you need. And He is amazing!

I love you.

Uncanny Colleen said...

Okay...I have to take Jeremiah to the doctor (he's tugging at one of his ears). But, I couldn't resist an extra comment...just for a little boost! Love you!

Uncanny Colleen said...

Okay...really...I love you...47 more to go!

Brittany Burchfield said...

hahaha, Im with colleen, boosting you up.
i love you, tons!

Uncanny Colleen said...

Ohhh...look! Brittany posted at 9:11 on 9/11. Sorry - random, but it just caught my eye.

Love you - Glad you had some downtime today!

Hannah said...

y'all are cracking me up!
Thanks for making me feel loved!

Becky Kiser said...

Comment #1: I love you.

Becky Kiser said...

comment #2: i miss you

Becky Kiser said...

comment #3: one day i really believe you'll have 1 million people read your writing

Becky Kiser said...

comment #5: i'm so sorry to hear about all the friendship drama. i can tell you that is a part of every stage of your life... but know that the best of friends come through it and teh others are just a part of your journey.

Becky Kiser said...

comment #6: william taylor told me a good quote when i was dealing with a relationship issue: "hurt people, hurt people."

Becky Kiser said...

comment #7: jerrel altic gave me another good quote to add to williams': "be the bigger person." basically don't let other's pull you down.

Becky Kiser said...

comment #8: i'm so glad to see the Lord used me misplacing the letters as a way to specifically bless you. nothing is left to chance. isn't that amazing?!

Becky Kiser said...

comment #9: i'm so excited to hear how your mentoring process goes! i know her life will never change!

Becky Kiser said...

comment #9 (i think... is it sad that i already lost count?): I'm so glad you are studying Crazy Love, it's on my read list! We'll have to have some IHOP and do a book date soon!

Becky Kiser said...

comment #10: or could we just do a date anyway? i miss you so much!

Becky Kiser said...

comment #11: oh... and my couch says it really misses you too. just. not. the. same. without. hannah. :(

Becky Kiser said...

comment #12: oh and the mafia miss you too. :) just kidding. what?

Becky Kiser said...

comment #13: i love how much you love your daddy and he loves you.

Becky Kiser said...

comment #14: i'm praying for you right now as a small group leader that the Lord would give you grace with the girls, a love for them you never imagined, vulnerability you've never shared and lives that change together!

Becky Kiser said...

comment #15: if any of our old girls are in the group please give them a traditional hannah style worlds best hug for me. i miss you girls!!!!

Becky Kiser said...

comment #16: so when julie/julia comes out on dvd do you want to have your small group come over for a girls night movie night?

Becky Kiser said...

comment #17: if you ever need to retreat but don't/can't go all the way to conroe, the kiser home's guest room will always have a place for you. :)

Becky Kiser said...

comment #18: if i didn't have to run to a doctor's appointment right now i would go all teh way to 50, you know i would. :) but know that i love you and i am so thankful to have you in my life! miss you!

Anonymous said...

Hannah,

We all love you!

~C

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing young woman, and I am praying for you.

~C

Uncanny Colleen said...

I read this http://www.apreacherswife.com/index.php/2009/09/12/crying-over-spilled-milk/

and thought of you (and, of course, myself). She's one of my favs!