I'm not much of a risk taker...
I'm not a risk taker at all.
If it looks like it could break me, I don't do it.
I thought that only applied to skiing, skateboarding, bungee jumping, etc., but I was wrong.
I'm that way with everything.
If it looks like it could hurt my feelings, I don't do it.
If it looks like it could scare me, I don't do it.
If it looks like I could fail, I don't do it.
If it looks like it could hurt my heart....I don't risk it.
I'm not a risk taker.
I'm a chicken.
But I long to be brave.
When the college catalyst at church confronted me about leading a girls' small group this semester, my anti-risk taker walls went up. No thank you. Pass. Maybe later. That's not for me. The question for discussion that Sunday night in college group? Where are you risking in your life to show God and people that you trust Him? Oh.........but.........well........ok. So I held my breath and took the risk.....absolutely horrified the whole time.
I was scared that no one would pick my small group...but girls did!
I was worried that no one who signed up would actually come...but they did!
I was scared that they wouldn't keep coming...but they have!
It's been almost two months, and we're still working through Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. These girls still read, they still come, and they're still as amazing as they were on day one! Last night we met and went and to Starbucks to hang out and talk about our chapter. We hadn't been there two minutes before one of the girls (who tends to keep her information completely to herself) randomly and unprovoked, leaned forward in her chair and gave us a thirty-second summary about the emotional struggle she's had for the past few days.
I was shocked. I couldn't believe what was happening. I had hoped and prayed from the beginning that this small group would be a place where these girls felt comfortable enough to say what they needed to say, to ask for prayer, to be honest with each other. There was no guarantee that this would happen....it was a risk. We all took that risk together...
and it worked!
We have a safe place!
I'm not an official risk taker.
I'm still a chicken.
I'm no where near brave.
But I might be one tiny, little bitty, baby step closer