I was talking today with a friend of mine that's a freshman. She was telling me about how much she's grown and...well, grown up in the past year. She added that that was probably ridiculous and sounded stupid, but I assured her that it didn't. It was absolutely true. Granted she's going to do a lot more changing before she dons that cap and gown, but freshman year is probably where the biggest...or at least most shocking change happens.
My pastor's been preaching through Genesis since last fall, and one of the things that has stuck out the most to me in this series was something he said about the story of Noah. When Noah and his family boarded the ark, God shut the door behind them. One question we were urged to ask ourselves was this:
Do I trust God enough to be okay when He closes a door?
That question stuck with me...and stuck with me....and is sticking with me. It's been my prayer since then that God would make me okay with closed doors. It hasn't been easy, but He's done it.
I was certain I was going to seminary in January...He closed that door.
I was sure I was going to apply for and be a part of my school's REC team for the summer...but He closed that door.
I've been holding on for dear life to people and situations...and He's closed those doors.
And in every situation, it's been okay. I've been okay. Now, believe me, there are other doors He's closed in this process that I've not been so okay with; but 3 out of 5...or 7....or 10...isn't bad :) it's improvement!
So I was talking to this sweet girl today and explaining some of the changes I've experienced through my time in college, telling her how all of those changes, hard as they may have been were worth it. Sure, I had to let some things go. I had to say goodbye to some people, but at the end of it, I'm a better me...and I'd much rather accept the changes than be stuck with who I was...
Her poor face, she looked horrified. Her eyes got big and she shook her head and said "Oh Hannah, I can't do that!" I quickly assured her that my changes aren't going to be her changes...we're different people...but I also assured her that whatever changes she does experience, we serve a God that's gracious enough to prepare us for them...a God so great that, when we ask Him....
He'll even make us okay with closed doors.